What self-limiting beliefs are holding you back with your self-care?
Jul 30, 2024
The truth is that your health, like your life, is in your hands. You are the only one who lives in your life and body. The beliefs you have and decisions you make about yourself, your health and what you are capable of will determine how well you take care of yourself.
When I was little, I got my head filled up with a lot of ideas about who I was. I heard comments from my parents, family, friends, “not” friends, school, people I worked with, people I went on dates with and took in those messages, unable to understand what these meant and if they were really about me. I was always asking the question, "Who am I? Please! All of you people out here - tell me who I am!"
As a result, I didn't feel I could make good decisions. I couldn't trust who I was because I was always trying to live up to what I thought was someone else’s idea of who I was.
I watched a documentary on Netflix called "My Octopus Teacher." There's a scene where the octopus swims up to a kelp forest to hide from a predator. She wraps big leaves of kelp around her and is completely hidden with just her one eye peeping out so she can see what's happening.
I feel that's what I’ve done over the course of my life. Some of those layers are about being hurt, afraid, angry and a lot of negative self-talk. Always the same old story – “You're not good enough, not smart enough.” “You’re always making bad decisions” blah, blah, blah.
“People may call what happens at midlife “a crisis,” but it’s not. It’s an unraveling—a time when you feel a desperate pull to live the life you want to live, not the one you’re “supposed” to live. The unraveling is a time when you are challenged by the universe to let go of who you think you are supposed to be, and to embrace who you are.” – From "The Gifts of Imperfection – Brené Brown
As I get older, I am beginning to shed those layers and uncover my true self. I was like that octopus, wrapped up in the kelp. The gift of getting older is to look at my life and say “Wow, that is not me! That is not who I am!” and release old thoughts, ideas, and deeply held beliefs about myself that don't serve me anymore.
I was living ‘externally’ before, looking outside myself to see who I was. Now I look internally to see who I am and ask the question “Is this belief I have the truth about me?”
As I challenge these thoughts and beliefs, I can say, “No, that is not me.” I can release who I thought I was and accept who I truly am. I forgive myself for believing things that weren't true, old hurts, grudges. These things cost a lot of energy to carry.
When I do this, I feel lighter. Now I focus on who I truly am and how I can present my best self to the world.
What are some ways to get there?
- Challenge beliefs you hold - the ones that run you! You might not know what these are because they are woven through the fabric of your life. They feel natural and you don’t notice or question them.
- Journal. Write down your thoughts and feelings to get a better sense of what’s happening in your mind.
- Meditate. The easiest way to meditate is to focus on your breathing. In and out. Your mind will run off to other things. Just notice and bring your attention back to your breath.
- Talk to somebody. Find someone you trust who will LISTEN and not tell you what to do or judge you.
- Read books. "The Gifts of Imperfection" by Brené Brown is a great one with which to start.
As we do this work, it becomes easier to have the life we want for ourselves.
Elaine Stewart, CHC
This document is for educational and informational purposes only and solely as a self-help tool for your own use. I am not providing medical, psychological, or nutrition therapy advice. You should not use this information to diagnose or treat any health problems or illnesses without consulting your own medical practitioner. Always seek the advice of your own medical practitioner and/or mental health provider about your specific health situation. For my full Disclaimer, please click Here.
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