10 Ways to Manage Your Fear

I want to be very clear that we can never get rid of our fear. We're hardwired for it. It's all about survival! It helps us survive, but it also can be managed.

First, if you are in a fearful moment right now, and you're not in danger, then slow down and take a slow deep breath and then just slowly breathe. Just keep doing that for a few minutes. The effect of this is to calm your mind and to calm your body.

Second thing is to tell yourself I am all right. I'm okay right now. I am okay right now! Say it as many times as you need to, and then you can make a decision. So what is my next step? Just one next step. Start there.

Number three. In the overall scheme of things, you need to actually become aware of your fear, and when you're afraid, and perhaps what you're afraid of. It's so important! You can't really address anything unless you actually are aware that it's there. So become aware.

Four. Release resistance to the fact that you have fear. We all have it. Some of us have it more than others. It's very important that you're able to do this because then you can accept the fact that you've got this fear. For me, it's a tremendous amount of fear. And until I could really acknowledge that I had it, I couldn't really do anything about it.

The next way, number five, accept the fact that you have fear, and its impact on you. Once you do, you can make change.

Number six. Practice mindfulness. Mindfulness is a simple breathing technique or practice that really calm the mind and calm the body. There are tons of resources out there. Books, apps, whatever, but see what works for you and start using it.

Seven - Journal. The purpose of this journaling is to get whatever's in your mind, whatever your fear is, out, right? So this isn't about going back and reflecting. It's not reading what you wrote and reflecting. No! This is 'taking out the trash' right here. This is fast, angry, scared, sad, whatever emotions are coming up for you. Write it out, and then rip it up and throw it away! It's just getting it out.

Number Eight is start to pay attention to your self-talk. Now all of us have self-talk. Many of us have negative self-talk and it's embedded in us. Sometimes we don't even realize that we have it, number one, and then how damaging it can be. So listen to yourself talk. When you hear any negativity, start to put a stop to it. So stop. STOP!

Then what you want to do is to start to change that negative into either a neutral or a positive. And that way it will actually change your outlook on the world. When you're afraid all the time, and your self-talk is all about fear, then all you're doing is reinforcing the fear that's that's really running your life right now. That's why you want to go to positive thinking.

Nine - Affirmations - use them liberally! This is a simple statement of "Today, I look for three positive things." That could be anything. "Today I'm going to find one thing I'm grateful for." Things like that. And I recommend, as many others do, to write them on a post-it note, and put them everywhere so that you're constantly reminded - Oh yeah. Oh yeah. I want to change my self-talk.

And finally, consider exploring the Enneagram. It's a really powerful tool that certainly helped me. I know it helps many of my friends and colleagues to really understand "who I am" and the impact of many things in my life, but specifically fear.

Knowing and understanding who I am and how fear affects me has really changed my life!

So today, March 31st, I'm offering a free webinar called "Fear: Friend, Enemy or Frenemy. How to make peace with your fear and find some balance in your life."

It's at four o'clock today, Arizona time. Click here to sign up. Also, my friend and expert Enneagram teacher, Linda Frazee will be joining me for part of that. I think you'll enjoy hearing a little bit more about the Enneagram. There's a link to her information below as well.

Thank you so much for joining me.

Dr. Elaine

Again, the link to sign up for the webinar today:

https://www.drelainestewart.com/fear-friend-or-enemy-or-frenemy

For more information about the Enneagram, go to www.LindaFrazee.com

This information is for educational purposes only and is not intended to replace the medical advice of your doctor or healthcare provider. Please consult your healthcare provider for advice about a specific medical condition.